Digital Parenting: Six Reasons Why It’s Okay Not To Put Your Kids Online

by Esme Addison

Making decisions about our children’s privacy is one of the many responsibilities that come with parenting today. Years ago, my husband and I decided that our three boys would not have an online presence. This was not a reaction to a single event, but a thoughtful, ongoing conversation as our family grew and technology changed.

My children’s father is not a fan of social media, which made this choice easier for our family. He does have a faceless Facebook account that he uses to communicate with his parents and extended family who live in Poland. He does not post on this account.

I use social media professionally as an author. My accounts on Instagram, YouTube, and X are focused on my books and my work. Sometimes I share glimpses of daily life, and our longhaired German Shepherd, Max, makes frequent appearances. My children, however, are not part of my public profile. The only exception was a photo of my youngest son’s leg while he read a book on a balcony at the beach. The view was beautiful, and I love capturing moments of my children reading, but I still protected his privacy.

I am also mindful about the personal details I share about myself. While I offer curated stories and images from my life, I set clear limits on what I disclose publicly. This approach helps me balance authenticity with privacy, both for myself and my family.

From early on, we explained our wishes to my sister-in-law. Even though she posts her own children often, she has always respected our boundaries. I take hundreds of photos and videos each year, but they are shared privately with close family, never online.

As our boys have grown, we have also made sure to explain the reasons behind these rules. Our goal is not just to set boundaries, but to help them develop the understanding and skills to make smart decisions about privacy and technology when they are older.

It is worth noting that organizations such as the American Academy of Pediatrics and digital privacy experts have raised ongoing concerns about children’s exposure online. Their recommendations often support limiting children’s digital footprints and prioritizing privacy.

Recent research published in Pediatrics found that the average child in the United States has more than 1,300 photos of themselves posted online before they turn thirteen. The American Academy of Pediatrics warns that this level of exposure can increase risks of identity theft and misuse of images. A study in Child Abuse & Neglect also revealed that more than half of parents are unaware of how their children’s images might be reused or repurposed online.

If you are considering whether to share your own children’s lives online, here are six reasons, as acknowledged by authorities in the field, that it is not only okay, but sometimes the best choice, to keep them offline.

1. Privacy Is A Real Gift

Children today are born into a world where personal information can easily become public. By keeping my children offline, I am giving them the gift of privacy, allowing them to grow up without a digital footprint they did not choose. I want my children to go into adulthood without the baggage of a social media presence. The UK’s Children’s Commissioner has reported that by age thirteen, children have on average 1,300 images of themselves online, often posted by parents—images that can have long-term implications for privacy and reputation.

2. Images Can Be Misused

Photos online can be copied, altered, or used in ways we cannot predict. Technology like artificial intelligence and deepfakes makes it even more difficult to control how images are used. Protecting my children’s images feels like a basic responsibility. Research has shown that publicly shared images of children can be easily downloaded and reused without consent, and that many parents are unaware of these risks.

3. Digital Footprints Last

Anything posted online can resurface years later. My hope is that my boys will enter adulthood free from a digital history that was created before they understood its impact.

4. Family Memories Can Stay Private

Many of our best memories are shared only with family. I love capturing moments of my children learning, exploring, and growing. Sharing these privately keeps those experiences special and safe.

5. Teaching Boundaries and Digital Safety

We have always explained our rules to our boys. My youngest, now fourteen, has never had a social media account. My oldest, now eighteen, was not allowed on social media as a child. At sixteen, we allowed him to use Snapchat, but only with a parent account linked. When he was seventeen and needed Facebook to search for cars with his dad, we set clear rules: no real names, no faces, and no personal details in the profile. He is online for school and gaming, but he understands why these boundaries matter.

6. Helping Children Make Their Own Choices

We believe that children should have the chance to decide for themselves how much of their lives they want to share. By keeping them offline now and explaining our reasons, we hope to give them the tools to make thoughtful choices about privacy and technology when they are ready.

It is common for parents to feel pressure to share or worry that their children will feel left out. We have had open conversations in our family about these topics, and I have found that children appreciate understanding the reasons behind our decisions. As technology and risks evolve, we regularly revisit our approach to make sure it still serves our family well. Our boundaries are not rigid, but they are thoughtful and intentional.

Every family has the right to set their own boundaries. It is never too late to rethink what is shared online. Protecting your children’s privacy is a thoughtful decision that can help them in the long run.

For parents interested in learning more about children and digital privacy, organizations such as the American Academy of Pediatrics and Common Sense Media offer helpful resources and up-to-date guidance.